This is hilarious. Entitled “What Your Coffee Order Says About You”, the writer proceeds to identify a unique personality description for every variation on the menu at your local coffee shack.
Here is a taste:
The Diet Coke of coffee. You mouth your order to barista mid-phonecall and leave in a click of Manolos, clutching venti flagon w/ left hand, little finger extended, arm crooked by designer handbag. You work in something high-powered (publishing? Finance? Fashion?) but the high-milk content of your coffee order is symptomatic of your need for comfort and escape. Incidentally, skimmed is more fattening than whole milk, so the ritual self-denial is pointless.
So what does your coffee order say about you?
Oh, probably nothing but writers need something to write about on a slow news day.